Typhoons Plan B team list:
Definites:
Jason O
Tim H
Rob Lance
Nico
Mikey
Warren
Tony Shale
Chris (10 minutes)
Gareth Janes
Bambi
Bruce Bogle
Scott Haylock
Charles Rixon
John Allum (10 minutes)
Bambi
Jeroen Platt
Match Report
Saturday in the year of our lord 2009 the second battle of the Hot Gates, Sparta would face the challenge from Asia, but first we would have some sherry for tonight we dine in hell. Before the game our own ginger Leonidas strode forth and addressed the men. Men that had come from the for corners of the globe, from billions of chance happenings in the cosmos, to be at this one place on this one day, for this one battle. Events like this, so momentous they dwarf man and time alike. A place no real man would miss. Did I say I'd start with a whole match report devoted to “the try”? Later…
Captain Jason Orange, Aged 12. Legend. Nice cord jacket dude.
"Men, this stuff that some sources sling around about B team (the first team probably) wanting out of this game, not wanting to fight, is a crock of bull. Typhoons love to fight, traditionally, period. All real Typhoons love the sting and clash of battle. You are here today for three reasons. First, because you are here to defend your honour and your team. Second, you are here for your own self respect, because you would not want to be anywhere else. Third, you are here because you are real men and all real men like to fight. Four, there is no four, sh1t… Phoons love a winner. Typhoons will not tolerate a loser. The B team despise cowards. Typhoons play to win all of the time. That's why The B team have never lost nor will ever lose a game; for the very idea of losing is hateful to the B team." There was some muttering about him setting himself up for a huge fall. There were others who said the speeches were particularly bad this year; and others who said the sherry had taken the spunk out of the Spartan and Viking spirit. Et tu Cat Port…
This was a day of legends and we had legends. Players approaching the “prostate” years were their with steely gaze, Shale, mingled players from places so backwards they still use Betamax, New Zealand. Whinging Australians, complaining that Bondi beach is now manned by a call centre in Mumbai. “ooh, blimey he’s been drowning you say, oh I mean strewth cobber no worries.” The forecast was cloud with a 90% chance of pain, we were ready.We started with a 10’s game which suited our open play style and individual flare. The first few minutes were about playing as a team and taking the hits. It was even for a while until Kowlooon, totally against the run of play scored in the first 30 seconds. This was due to Mr Allum, failing to cover the man. Something he did consistently all game. We began to fire, strong words from the captain and he went down heavily on him. Some words of encouragement, “tape your t1ts down and you’ll run faster” and we moved up a gear. It was a blur of frenzied play, Gazza, linking with Waz and bouncing through the middle, Manu smashing through and Passing to Scott, and Bruce somewhere there behind the pace in support. It was a prop fest of power and agility. The back line was sublime, the old school Mikey, Hammer, Nose, Booth combo linking to make 5 or 6 yards every time they touch the ball. Allum making up for his earlier performance came close to a try, but was denied with a double move, or the hip-hop caterpillar / inch worm ground technique. In another prop power play, Scott linked with Ole’ whispy to get through several players to score under pressure. You’re wondering who was winning at half time, it wasn’t us. We let a few in and Allum was the culprit.
Half time speeches and some oxygen and we were ready to make the biggest comeback since nose put his boots back on. The team was switched about and we went in for the second half. It’s hard to differentiate the two half’s but we played better in the second half, building with confidence, team play and desperation. The forwards were a power house and Kowloon went uncontested. Mikey with his soft hands and hard body put in some devastating hits. Tony Booth ran around looking for his first try, but it was the hammer with his one good arm who went in with his first try in years. Desperate defending at times and several chase backs saved us, with Bambi kicking for the line badly, rather than risking running from the try line. He kicked better than Jeroen and Orange however who blamed clogs and skill for their hits. Phoons went into the attack and the ball went loose near the Kowloon 22, under pressure Nose got a foot in to hack it forward towards the line. The years slipped away as he sprinted with the entire Kowloon squad baying for blood. A second touch took the ball away from the nearest man, crying "god give me strength", only the bounce and players to beat to get it down. Not a problem. With two fingers to Allum and a game to win, we were getting close. Next on the sheet was Nico, barging aside players to touch down and put is even. Nico had been denied an earlier try for an off-side. In the last few minutes we held the line and the line held, all except that final try.
The final score was said to be 27 Typhoons 28 Kowloon, but it may have been more. Team captain Orange was responsible for the first plan B defeat. So much for his speech. War is a series of battles and one battle may not lose you the campaign. We will be back, next time.
Man of the match was Nico. Tyr of the match was Scott, a travesty. I though Allum played well, but the winner was rugby, as usual. It was a great day out. Old boys in the first team, like Tim kept the pace up and we played a good and fair game with plenty of smiles. I think it was wind. Will we be back to fight? Does the pope sh1t in the woods?
C
