Match Report

Starting XV     
1. Nico
2. Clarkie
3. Manu
4. Tim
5. James K
6. Roy
7. Simon H
8. Claudio (C)
9. Jensen
10. Jon K        
11. Fabien          
12. Gareth          
13. PA          
14. Dan Vart            
15. Guy E            

Super Subs

Prop: Bruce
Hooker: Gaston
Second Row: Thomas S, Xia
Back Row: Thomas G, Allan N, Jamie H, Chris C

Scrum Half: Smally
Centres: Thibaut, Andy C, Dru Han
Wingers: Jeff, Joseph
Full Back: Tom

From last weeks report there were complaints that the front row didn't get a mention, at all and they did all the work. Unbelievable, but this week we have a front row special edition. Starting with top hygiene tips; can you guess what the sound of Fsssssh, Fsssssh, FFFFFFFFFFFFFFSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhh is? Well if you need tips on attracting the ladies and keeping a dry crack, then give yourself a good spray first. Pits and passage. The second row did complain however that they still had damp shoulders, so could you change your brand, Nico, you big assed love god. This week also saw the return of Le Grande Escoffier (Big Scoffer), Mr Q as he is otherwise known has been bulking up in the off season and revealed some of his favourite foods. Coq au vin (Cock in wine) and a spot of horse sausage sushi when wants more than a mouthful. Manu says anything goes in France. The potato was out again, this tuberous savage was recently excommunicated from his pagan folk band for refusing to hand-fast the wicca man. Potato Clarke was suffering some recent ailment, his insides were all wrong. Despite the mess, he was there for business as usual. So that would be a damp shoulder for one second row and Armageddon for the other. A hideous place to be and all because of the uncouth front row types. Anyway, he was apparently lying in bed on Friday getting better. I've no idea how, but his deep meditation and pagan rituals to "feel the ball, be the ball" didn't seem to improve his performance much. Then we had Buffalo, this hulk of a man looks particularly ravishing caught in the prison floodlights when leaving the shower. A bit Alfred Hitchcock in silhouette, clutching his soap and walking funny. Hopefully that's the last time the fatties complain about not appearing in match reports.

So we were of reasonable wind and limb, one or two looked a little liverish having imbibed the evening before, but we looked ready and in good number. There was some toot on how we needed to upset the temperament of the Portuguese, get into them and put some effort in. It sounded good. The Berzerka chant rang loudly in the air and children began to cry, we were on for war. The game started and we moved into a fairly evenly matched game for the first 20 minutes. The scrum despite the unsavoury characters was holding up and despite the Potato complaining of chest rash from the losehead. With play in the central portion of the pitch, there wasn't a great deal in it. Early pressure and Macau eventually conceded a penalty with Jensen kicking for 3 points. A switch of centres and Andy Chan managed to break the line, interception? and take the ball 2/3rds the length of the pitch before being brought down 5 yards out. A scramble for the ball and a couple of passes put Jensen in for 5. Coming up on half time Gareth took a nasty nip and did himself no good at all. Hopefully the knee is not all bad, but he's out for a while now and you may see him drinking beer on the sidelines.

Half time speeches and some tactics game plans and holding firm. Claudio apparently had a goldfish which managed to drown itself when he was a boy. It could have been some spit, but it's likely it just couldn't take it anymore. We started off again with gusto, but soon got some wobbles and some more. Line outs were reasonable, we made a few yards here and there but we were starting to slow and lack some ideas. The tackling was good, but again in patches and individual effort. Macau were getting stronger, we let a few by. In the last 20 P.A who had already made a few mazy runs managed to collect and go over for 5. The subs began to flow and towards the end of the game we started to fight back. Tom took an interception and went in near the posts. Jensen converted. We apparently needed one more score. This was in fact a malicious rumour along with, there's only another 5 minutes, put some effort in. We kept fighting till the end, but then we suddenly lost. 37 - 20 was the final score with Macau taking the game.

It only meant one thing, a severe drinking session to forget, fines for everyone for losing and even more beer. Most never got into town, having filled up within a few hundred yards of the pitch. I hear however that there were some dirty stop outs who will have been in big trouble. A good effort, despite the loss. We played well in patches. The beer drinking didn't appear to be affected. Tonight is training. Those who were there heard some words on getting it right. Like any Typhoon team, we are always at our most dangerous when you think we're beaten. We will fight another day. Did I mention Claudio kicking the ball backwards